Wog Day

I have not blogged for quite some time, but today I made a point of sending some stuff out. Since Singapore things have been very busy. We have moved on and things have gotten more important in my day to day work. On that note, let me tell you about a little ceremony we have out here when we cross the equator.

Anyone that has crossed the equator before is considered a Shellback. Anyone that has not crossed the equator is considered a Pollywog, or just plain WOG (dirty, slimey, rotten wog). Not too long ago I was one of these dirty wogs and needed cleansing by the great King Neptune and Davy Jones.

Leading up to the actual ceremony is just a bunch of talk. The Shellbacks begin to get into character and start bossing wogs around making them wear signs and sing songs. My division made this sign for me:

What this meant was that every time that an Honorable Shellback wanted, they could make me do the Superman part of “Crank that Soulja Boy”. Not too bad compared to some of the things that the other wogs on board had to do.

There were a few times that I was asked to sing a wog song, songs that the Shellbacks made up that take well known songs and change the lyrics to fit the occasion. When asked to sing these songs I repeatedly refused, told the Shellbacks that I would never memorize these songs, and to bring their worst on the day of the crossing the line ceremony. Before the ceremony people can be sent Subpoenas making them a special case and forcing them to see the royal court on wog day. I received three of these.

On wog day every wog is required to wear a white shirt with Wog written on it, and a pair of uniform pants worn inside out. The night before wog day I made a pretty awesome shirt to add a little flavor to the fun of wog day:

I figured, what is the fun of wog day if everyone does exactly what they are told?

The next morning every wog was woken up early in the morning and told to muster up in a certain area of the ship. We were immediately put on our hands and knees and told not to look up. Sitting on my knees was not the best place for me to show off my shirt saying “I hate Smellbacks.” As people would walk by me and read my shirt, many of them would state, “So you hate Shellbacks do you?” I would promptly correct them and tell them it was actually “Smellbacks.” Within 5 minutes of waking up someone proceeded to write “Special Case” on my back.

You can see the green marker on my back as I am doing push ups. I ended up doing quite a few of these by the end of the day.

The day proceeded with me crawling around, getting sprayed with salt water (never ending salt water) and any other thing that an Honorable Shellback said that I had to do. The event started inside and moved to the outside part of the ship. There was a planned circuit for the wogs and it started on the aft part of the ship and continued to the forward part of the ship and then back down the other side. At any time if a Shellback desired they could send you back to the beginning.

I lost count of how many times I was sent back to the beginning. To make the day more fun I talked trash to the Shellbacks and laughed when I felt like laughing (mostly at times that you weren’t supposed to laugh). Throughout the day I would hear someone call, “Where is Britto?” Most people were looking for me to either send me back to the beginning, or to make me do the Soulja Boy. I probably did and taught the Soulja Boy to most of the crew that day:

At the very end of the day after finally getting to the end of the line, you go to see the Royal Court. I was made to sing songs repeatedly, even though I didn’t know the words and then I was given the chance to plead guilty to my wog crimes and be cleansed of my sliminess. Considering I was now one of the last 4 to finish, I finally confessed to my dirty wog sins. I was cleansed and made a Shellback.

I had a blast on wog day. I liked the way it was run. It was fun and enjoyable because people had the right spirit about the day. I would actually do the day again if I had to. I am not gonna ask for it, but I would.

Since that day I have been extremely busy. So busy, that I forgot it was my birthday. I did not get a chance to check my email until the evening to see all the nice emails that I had gotten, and I didn’t remember until I was giving a brief and it said that it was the 26th of April.

Alex, to answer your long lost, but not forgotten question, no, I have never seen a rogue wave. I don’t know anyone that has, but I have been told that they are huge and could probably knock our ship on its side. I don’t know how true that is, but it is a possibility.

I will try and email all of you more regularly. I have been receiving all of your emails and I really appreciate them I just haven’t had the time to respond. As things calm down here I will respond as I can.

I can’t wait to be back in San Diego.